There is a moment in every leadership journey that no one warns you about. Not the promotion. Not the bigger title. Not the team growth.

It is the moment someone who used to manage you now wants to work for you.

That is where Mira found herself.

A new opportunity opened, she was stepping into a bigger role, and suddenly her former manager, Elin, reached out. Warm. Supportive. Genuinely excited. "I would love to work with you again," she said.

On paper it looked ideal. In Mira's stomach it felt like a knot the size of a grapefruit.

It took us 30 seconds in coaching to name the truth:

She was not afraid of Elin. She was afraid of the version of herself Elin remembered.

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The ghost version of you

Every leader has a "previous self" they hope people forget:

The eager one. The apologetic one. The over-explaining one. The one who felt grateful just to be invited to the meeting. The one trying to prove she deserved to be in the room.

Mira described her old self this way:

That version is long gone. But the fear was not.

Because what happens when someone who knew your less confident, less certain, less powerful self now sits across the table and you are the one leading?

This is something I call identity inversion: When your role changes, but your internal story has not updated yet. It creates an emotional glitch:

>> You are fully capable but suddenly self-conscious.

>> More skilled but suddenly second-guessing.

>> The leader but somehow feel like the intern again.

Mira was not doubting her ability. She was doubting her history.

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But what did the receipts, evidence and experience show? That she was:

• The one who runs high-stakes conversations without breaking a sweat
• The one whose teams follow her because they trust her
• The one who speaks with clarity, not apology
• The one who knows exactly what she brings to a room

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Let me say it again for the people in the back: This is not ego. This is the leadership moment. The internal flip from "I hope she does not see the old me" to"I cannot wait to show her the new one."

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Why this happens (and how to break it)

This dynamic is more common than anyone admits. When the hierarchy flips, the identity often does not - at least not as fast.

Psychologically, we all carry what researchers call imprint versions of ourselves: Older, outdated identities that linger in the minds of people from our past.

Your job as a leader is not to fight those versions. It is to update the imprint. Not through force, but through presence.

Because here is the truth: people do not remember your past roles as much as they remember your past energy.

And your energy now is completely different. Expanded. Grounded. Earned.

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Try this this week

If you are leading people who once led you, or peers who once saw a smaller version of you, try these three prompts:

1. Name the version of you they knew

Not to judge yourself. To release yourself.

2. Name the version of you they have not met yet

Skillset. Confidence. Impact. Leadership posture.

3. Lead from the now you, not the then you

Your old self did the best she could. Your current self knows exactly what she is doing.

This is how you step into a room without shrinking. How you manage former managers without fear. How you lead people who have not seen your evolution.

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The quiet truth behind all of this

Growth creates distance. Not distance from people - distance from who you used to be.

And leadership begins the moment you stop protecting an outdated version of yourself and start introducing the world to the one you have become.

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Need help with this? Let's chat.

My best, always,

Shar